As we came to the end of alopecia awareness month this alopecia awareness series, I’d like to just talk about what it means to be a woman with alopecia. Hair care and kicking butt aside, alopecia is depressing. It hurts to see your crown slowly vanish and with hereditary alopecia, it hurts to know it never truly ends. All the good hair care in the world couldn’t beat genetics.
The reason why I have no photos from the period when my hair loss was at its peak is because well, I didn’t feel beautiful. Now that I openly talk about it, so many of my friends are surprised they didn’t know. I hid it well. I felt damaged, like my very womanhood was being challenged.
It may seem like, ‘Well, it’s just hair’, right? I suppose on the surface, it just is to someone on the outside looking in. But for the twenty-something woman watching her hair fall off and imagining so many years to come without it, it is frustrating. Suddenly, this thing you’d never really thought too much about because its presence was a given is slipping away. Through all the self doubt and insecurity, I cannot begin to explain how important a support system is. My family was there for me, encouraged me and never let me feel less than I am. A man who wouldn’t let a day go by without telling me I’m beautiful. They don’t make them like you anymore 🙂
Most of all, I had to remember my worth not just to the people around me but to myself and to my God; the very fact of our likeness and how beautiful I am because of it. Its cliché perhaps but I needed to go through a season of rediscovering that inner beauty is what truly counts.
I have been more fortunate than most. I know there are women with alopecia who haven’t had as much success getting their hair to grow back and I can only imagine how stressful that is. Just the other day, I felt a teeny tiny little bald spot at the crown of my head and my heart sunk and it’s okay to feel that way. What’s important though is to be grounded. To always be able to get back up and celebrate every small victory.
I have alopecia and it sucks. It isn’t who I am though.
I am black, beautiful, full of life and love and more than anything, blessed. So are you!
Loads of love,
Photography by Makobi at That Boy Images
Fionas’s website: www.allthingsnaturalwithkemi.com